Thursday, June 19, 2014

Improving Our Whole Family

One of the things we talk to our children about is ways we can improve ourselves. We frequently talk about no one being perfect and we all have our strengths and weaknesses. It's okay to throw an occasional tantrum, it's okay to get angry, it's okay to cry. Being able to control our emotions is still a very important thing to learn. We can get angry without hurting another person. We can be frustrated without saying things that will hurt others' feelings. 

Today was a day that I needed to be reminded of self improvement. For some reason, today was just harder than normal. I had to practice patience and there were a couple of times I forgot to remind myself. The thing is, I talk to my kids about ME not being perfect either. And when we aren't perfect, we always talk it out and apologize. My kids know I will always forgive them and they will always forgive me.

We decided to write 3 things we can each work on on our white board in the school room. We agreed to leave it up for awhile and remind each other of the things we need to improve upon. I wanted to share what we all came up with together.

Michael - My 7 Year Old Son
1) Focusing! - This is his number 1 by far. Sometimes I get so frustrated at his lack of focus. He is also 7 and learning, so we get through those moments one at a time.
2) Drink more water - A major one for him. He gets migraines and it's because the kid forgets to drink!
3) Talking - He came up with this one on his own, which was HUGE. He sometimes has a hard time saying how he is feeling or he wont talk to me about things.

Violet - My 5 Year Old Daughter
1) Listening - She is her mother's daughter lol and stubborn as all heck. My husband always says we are going to fight a lot when she is a teenager. I hope he's wrong. I always say someday she will be a strong woman but it's gonna be a rough road getting there. She really needs to work on ignoring me and doing what she wants anyways.
2) Bathroom - She was my nightmare child to potty train and while she is potty trained, her bathroom habits need some work for sure lol. We will leave it at that.
3) Tattling - Because she is her mother's daughter, I know she does this for attention. She constantly needs recognition that she is doing good and she loves to point out when others are not doing good. We are working on this. We are working on encouraging others and tattling less.

Josie - My 3 Year Old Daughter
1) Screaming - I always say it's terrible 3s not terrible 2s and she is proving this to be correct for me for the 3rd time! She is a shrieker lately. I remind her to breathe, calm down and use the words we taught her!
2) Hurting - The only one of our children so far that has felt the need to harm another person. She gets upset, doesn't use her words and harms. We are definitely working on this and it is never acceptable in our home. I say Josie is my sweetheart 95% of the time and those other 5% is my Darth Josie. lol don't mess with her!
3) Listening - When I am trying to calm you down, Listen! lol stop screaming and hear what I am saying girl! But she is an amazing helper and listens most of the rest of the time.

Mommy - Yes! I had my kids help me come up with 3 things for me. Believe me, these things can be hard to hear, but once again, we teach our kids that no one is perfect and we all need to try harder. They listened to the areas I thought they needed to work on and I listened to theirs. Bless their little hearts.
1) Yelling - I WILL say, I don't yell a ton, but when I do, it's because I've snapped and I have to remind myself to breathe(just like me 3 year old lol). I definitely understand why they want me to improve on this and I am trying to get down to NO yelling. I would hate for them to look back and remember a crazy mommy.
2) Playing - My babies are SO sweet. They tell me I work so hard and I never get to play. So I am resolving to play a lot more! I love these guys.
3) Frustrated - My 7 year old chimed in with this one and he is right. I do get frustrated with him a lot. I get frustrated when he stands there staring at me and wont talk to me, I get frustrated when he cant focus on his school work and I get frustrated when he cant remember what he is supposed to be doing. This is a huge reminder to me that he knows his flaws and he IS trying and I need to not get so frustrated with him. He's doing his best bless his heart. I love how sweet and loving this boy is and I hope he always stays that way. I need to show him that I accept him for who he is, but that we all can try harder.

So there you have it. We didn't come up with any for daddy yet haha, but I think we need to. We also made a column called ALL and these are the things they agreed upon:

- Say I love you
- Help each other
- Encourage
- Hugs and Kisses

I absolutely am the luckiest mom in the whole world and I hope my kids feel like lucky kiddos!

How about you guys? Has anyone else run into this situation?  I know I am not alone! I am just being honest and in this house, that is encouraged 100%.

One thing I have learned along the way is if the way they want to do something isn't going to change the outcome, then let them do it their way and don't fight for it to be done your way! I learned this years ago and it has prevented so many tantrums and arguments! 

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